7) Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point
Let’s start with where I thought I’d be. I didn’t expect to make it past 21 because of my depression. But if I did, I’d go to law school, pass the bar exam, and find a job raising hell for a nonprofit. Then I’d create my own nonprofit and raise more hell. I would save enough to be able to take care of my mother and for us to be comfortable. I flirted with marriage, no marriage, a dependable long-term relationship without marriage, kids, no kids… and I had no idea what that would look like.
Where I am: I’ll be 28 in a couple of weeks. I did go to law school, I did pass the bar on my first try, and I landed square in the worst recession to hit the legal profession. From a temporary position at a health insurance company, where I mostly did administrative work, I made connections and now work with health policy for my state’s Medicaid agency. Due to ridiculousness of the highest order, my mother abandoned the roomy two bedroom apartment we called home to squat in my one bedroom apartment. I take care of all of her needs… but it surely isn’t comfortable. The marriage question is still in the air because I am learning I thrive on having personal space. Relationships — whether platonic, romantic, or familial — don’t permit that space to happen. My faith is only so strong, and I do my best to welcome people into my life.
But when I lack space to breathe and be alone, I am miserable. I knew that then, in my heart, and I know that now. So I’m still striving to reach contentment.
6) Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”
Cliff’s Notes: 1) This person has a very limited perspective on what “life” is. 2) We do have choices and waiting to make the right choice is a GOOD thing. 3) Shaming, much?
3) Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.
Since some of the worst moments of being single typically involve longings for intimacy or support, the awesome moments are when you’re among your true-blue friends. The people who will be there for you, come hell or high water or Olivia Pope’s daddy (who claimed he is both).
2) Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.
I think the moment when you’re in a relationship and you realize it isn’t going to work is the WORST part of being single. That realization is the first moment that you see the single horizon and your stomach flips over. Because at that point, you. are. single. The external formalities don’t matter. Single, like winter, is coming.
Since part of this blogging effort is tied to my personal development (and I need to blog more, period), I’ve decided to do The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge. I also have a grocery shopping trip planned for next week, and that means there will be more clean recipes added to this page. I promise. Really, really. There’s a delicious clean vegan soup I MUST share with you, along with possibly amusing pictures of my attempts to make homemade tortillas.
Here’s the first prompt.
1) Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”